Ana Vaz de Barros (Portugal) << back



I was born on April Fool's Day. People say I'm very feminine but that I've some very masculine personality traits (whatever those are). I've had my extremely long appendix removed and the surgeon took fright because it looked like a penis and I regret not having kept it in a bottle until today (whatever that was). Unbelievably I have three fully‑working kidneys. My big toe in both feet is amazingly set apart from the next toe which enables me to perform all sorts of tasks (whatever they are). Sometimes I have one green eye and one blue eye and their colour can change when people are looking at me. Doctors say I must be a mutant for these and several other reasons (whatever they are). I’ve lost the photos and record of most of my artistic work in a fire and at the time I wished it had been some kind of flood instead. Like they say, be careful what you wish for. A couple of years later a wall came crashing down, a water pipe broke and a flood destroyed the rest of my work’s photos and records. I like having imaginary friends and performing all sorts of personally made‑up characters. I write poems and mostly satirical short stories. Subversion is my favourite line of work. Sometimes I get literally lost in translation and it's very hard to find my way back into real life.


Short Poems


my life is black on black
I took a yellow cab the other day
it took me nowhere to be found



I am a liar

I say I’m a woman and I‘m not
I say I’m a man and I’m not
I say I’m an animal and I’m not
I say I’m a thing and I’m not

I am what I am not



I’m walking on a very narrow straight line
I should maybe pay attention not to fall

or not





fly butter
butter fly



ice cold
ice tea
ice me



nuage à la page
au but de mon coeur
télé sans image



voilà tonton qui arrive
avec des sacs de bonbons
dans la bouche ça fait des sons
pas de bon ton

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